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Saturday Laughs


Coachgun
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Posted (edited)

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament.

Sir, she said "You may use the ladies' room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR.

Who would know if he touched them?

He couldn't resist. He pushed WW and warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.

What a nice feeling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragrant scent of roses to this unbelievable pleasure. The ladies' restroom was more than a restroom, it was tender loving care.

When the powder puff completed its course of action, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be the ultimate!

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.

"What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.

"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover.”

Things aren’t looking up anytime soon.  I should be out of the hospital in a couple of weeks.

Edited by Coachgun
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The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska.  He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. He found a helpless Packer fan wearing shorts, sandals, a 'Go Pack' cheese hat and a "The Pack rules" shirt. The man was screaming and struggling frantically, thrashing all about, and trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10 foot grizzly bear.

As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Bears fans wearing Bears shirts came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum slug right into the bear’s chest. The two other men pulled the semiconscious Packer fan from the bear’s grasp. Then using baseball bats, the three Bears fans finished off the grizzly. Two of the men dragged the dead grizzly onto the bed of their pickup truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Packer fan in the back seat.

As they began to leave, the Pope summoned all of the men over to him. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he proudly proclaimed. "I have heard there was bitter hatred between Packer fans and Bears fans, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, one Bears fan asked his buddies, "Who the heck was that guy?"

"Dude, that was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom."

"Well," the Bears fan said, "he may have access to all wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait still alive or do we need to go back to Wisconsin and get another one?"

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